Do I really have time for this?: The Gage Oddities

    If any of you out there know my 4-year-old, Gage, then you also know he is not a normal 4-year-old. Am I right? I'm really not sure where he came from because he is so darn unique. I've always been told to write down the funny things he says, so this post will be an attempt at documenting the funnier things he has said.
   First, though, you must know a few things about Gage before I continue. Generally, he is rambunctious, honest, caring, demanding, bossy, and hilarious. Probably the most apparent quality he has is intelligence. This kid is smart. I'm sure he got most of it from his dad, we all know how smart he is and that those genes seem to run in his family. He gets some funny looks from strangers sometimes. We went to the Dinosaur Park in Ogden last week, (which is awesome and so worth the drive!) and this man was walking past us as this was coming out of Gage's mouth: "Mom, I can't decide... Should we go look at the Parasaurolophus, the Styracosaurus, or should we go find the Pachycephalosaurus?" The man looked quite amazed and then chuckled. Now, the funny thing about this is that he can not only pronounce these dinosaur names along with many others, but he can tell you all about them. (Yes, I had to Google them to make sure I spelled them correctly.) Are they herbivores or carnivores? Omnivores? How many claws do they have? Do they have spikes, plates, frills? How many horns do they have? This kid is a dinosaur freak! If you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, this is his response: "A Paleontologist and a Tech Lab". (He means a Lab Tech like his dad, but can't seem to switch the words around the right way.) Although, the other day he was watching race cars on TV and said he wanted to be a race car driver instead of a Tech Lab. Anyway, let's just say I know more about dinosaurs than I ever even knew there was to know!
     Back to the funny things he has said... There are many, so I may just highlight the ones I remember distinctly. If any of you remember any other ones, please add them in the comments. He started talking at an early age and was very easy to understand. He has always had pretty good pronunciation and sentence structure. (Like I know...) Here we go:

     Almost 2 years old: His aunt was pregnant and he was saying goodbye to her and the rest of the family...
     Gage: "Bye-bye Christy, Bye-bye NaNa, Bye-bye Stacey, Bye-Bye Ninnies!"
     To explain the word ninnies: When I was young, we were on a trip to Lake Powell with my Grandpa John and Grandma Charleen. (My mom's parents) My grandpa was swimming and hollered, "I think the fish are nibbling my ninnies!" Needless to say, the word ninnies became permanent in my family when we refer to boobies.

   Had just turned 2 years old: He was in the bathtub and had recently learned how to sing Happy Birthday.
   Gage: "Hap Burday to you, Hap Burday to you, Hap Burday Pee-pee!" Yes, he was referring to his boy parts. (Or "tenders" as he know calls them!)

   Gage was very fat when he was little. As a result, his little "pee-pee" was usually hiding. One day when he was just barely 3, he looked down at it in the tub, poked it with his finger and demanded, "Get back in there!"

   2 years old: I was taking a shower and he barged in. The shower curtain was closed.
     Gage: "Mom, open the curtain!"
     Me: "No."
     Gage: "Why?"
     Me: "Because I'm taking a shower and you can't see Mommy naked."
     Gage: (After a long pause) "I won't laugh..."

     Three years old: I was taking some ibuprofen for a headache. I also wasn't wearing a bra.
     Gage: "Why are you taking pills?"
     Me: "I have a headache."
     Gage: "Where did the pills go?"
     Me: "In my tummy."
     He then reached over, poked one of my nipples and said, "Oh, I thought they were right there sticking out."

     Three years old:
   Gage: "Mom, you know, pirates are dicks."
     Me: "Gage, that's not nice. We don't talk like that."
     Gage: "Well, they are. They steal stuff.
     Me: "It doesn't matter, we still don't say that word."
     Gage: "What? Pirates?"
     I guess I wasn't very clear...

     Had just turned 3 years old. I was nursing Zac in the rocking chair. Zac had been sucking pretty hard and had just pulled away. Gage looked over at me curiously and then said, matter-of-factly: "Mom, your ninnies look like a flat-head screwdriver." (This is my personal favorite!)

   Four years old:
     Nanny: (My mom) "Gage, are you excited to go to the cabin? We're taking the Xbox."
     Gage: "I'm just not going to play it."
     Nanny: "What are you going to do?"
     Gage: "I'm just going to eat all day."
     Nanny: "What are you going to eat?"
     Gage: "Shrimp."
     Nanny: "Where are you going to get shrimp?"
     Gage: "I'm just going to make it."

     That's all I can think of right now. I know there are many others, I'll have to rack my brain and write them down as I think of them. I'll do a Gage Oddities Part Two soon enough! We love our Gage and the crazy things he does and says. Remember the Grumpy Old Man Face and the Tootie-Tah Dance? Good Times.